I will die if light touches me.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
