North Korea, Best Korea!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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