Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
