Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
