The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
