i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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