you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
