I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
