I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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