We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
