Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
