I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
