I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
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