Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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