is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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