The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
