Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Too much gin, very little bucket
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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