If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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