I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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