do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
