next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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