i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
