Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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