You're completely useless in the revolution.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
