Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
