You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
