It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
