2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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