Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
