Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
don't judge my taste in strippers
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
