apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
