Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
