you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
