Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
