Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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