I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
