I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
