I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
