Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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