come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
