some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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