thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
