thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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