We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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