You're my little dorito
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
