I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize