It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
