I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
