How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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