that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
