For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
